...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize