Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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