No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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