She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
