Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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