Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize
