I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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