i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Who died my cat blue again?
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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