I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
