She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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