Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
