i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
