He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
