It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Randomize
