ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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