and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
