Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Do you remember whose house we're in?
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
