I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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