he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
