Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
