It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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