This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Randomize
