What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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