You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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