i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
