I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
