Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
