Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
