We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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