Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
