In the future we'll all be gay
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
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