The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
no. you can't hotbox the world.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
