I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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