pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
