I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I want a musical about memes.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
