It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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