i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
