the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
