She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
