I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
