Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
