I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Randomize
