Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
