You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize