Capitaan dildo arrescate!
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
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