ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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