Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
