CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Randomize
