I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
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