I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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