is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Randomize
