He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
