She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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