The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
