Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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