he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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