my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
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