It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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