I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
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