I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
We are all done wearing pants today
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
