You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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