Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Randomize
