id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize
