I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Randomize
