well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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