good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
and she was petting her beer can
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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